Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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