Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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