she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
