Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
