This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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