I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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