so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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