It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
