"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
