She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
