I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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