you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
