Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
