you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
