he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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