Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
