so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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