They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
