I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
