The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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