im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
