I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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