What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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