Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
