Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
