It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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