NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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