just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
