I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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