I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You were trust falling into bushes
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
