I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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