Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
