super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
