At least make sure they are 18
Why
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
