fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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