I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She bit a glass in half.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
