The maid of honor just puked.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
