Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
