Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
