how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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