I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
