found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
