I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
