4 words: hood of his car
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
