Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
