He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
