and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
