I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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