He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
