ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
