Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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