one two three fourrrrnication!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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